Brilliant.

Learn how to study, my way.

How to study for Psychology;
1. Place all that is needed for the study of this class on the table, including pens, books and worksheets. Promptly leave table and retreat to bed to read Sherlock Holmes.

2. Later that night in an attempt to work, slowly meander back to table. Stare at work for ten minutes without blinking before going back to bed.

3. Get dragged out of bed by father demanding you study for the exam.

4. Print out questions and facts to be quizzed on by father. Hand them to him and wait. While father alters between reading the questions in the most sarcastic tone imaginable and an Irish accent, dont pay attention and try to become one with the beanbag you are lying on. While failing to merge with the bean bag, pay no attention to father and be caught off guard when the question sheet smacks into your face.

5. Give up. Roll on floor instead.

Learn how to study for Art.
1.Instead of looking over page of notes, go out to the cinema to watch the new Banksy film. Reason because it's about art that sitting in a chair for two hours watching it will increase the chance of passing the exam.

2. Dont attempt study until the day before your exam.

3. Lay out one page of notes to look at. Attempt to read first dot point.

4. Give up half way through.

5. Roll around on floor, this time joined by cat.

How to study for English;

1. Have enough faith that you will do fine

2. Do not even attempt to study

3. Spend valuable time running around the park adjacent your house at 4am instead.

4. Rock up to exam exhausted, lose interest an hour into it.

5. Go home and roll on floor

How to study for French;
1. Complain about how you are going to fail French exam.

2. Put French dictionary on table, stare at it imploringly repeating the phrase "Get into my braaaaain" over and over.

3. Give up and speak English in a French accent for the rest of the day as your study.

How to study for French Oral Exam;
1. Giggle that exam title sounds vaguely sexual

2. Stress and make semi-serious list of supposed consequences of failing this exam; list includes:
- The examiner will beat me to death with stale baggettes
- The examiner will run quickly around the room, blurring her stripped t-shirt, giving you a seizure
- The examiner will smother you do death with her beret

3. Stress more than you have for any exam before.

4. Rock up to exam.

5. Fail exam.

6. Return home, roll on floor.

How to study for Math;
1.Create notes for math exam during the night before.

2. Do nothing else.

3. Have no faith in your passing abilities, pack not one but two books to read instead.




Let it be noted that i should be studying for both my Psychology and Art exam which i have tomorrow, instead of writing this.